How to step out of the shop-spend-consume cycle

This night help to get out of the Pay Day Circle of Life...

Jan 21, 2020 / Lucía González Schuett

 It doesn’t require a total overhaul of your life, but following a few simple steps can help you start consuming less, says Lucía González Schuett.

This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.

A few years ago, Lucía González Schuett embarked on a “personal rollercoaster journey,” as she puts it in a TEDxHHL Talk. And it all started when she looked at something that most of us have: a junk drawer.

She was disturbed by what she found — most of the things there were broken, incomplete or imperfect, but she had felt compelled to hold onto them. She questioned every item, asking questions like: “Do I really need this? Does it add value? Is it worth the space that it takes up or the care it requires?”

And she made a radical decision: She vowed to go for a year without buying anything except for food.

Around the same time, she was going through a professional transition. She’d made a career in fast fashion, where her salary was partly based on commission — the more she could get people to spend, the more she earned. One of her responsibilities was to rotate the store’s contents so the merchandise would appear new to shoppers and they’d discover something they overlooked on a previous trip.

In 2018, González Schuett left the industry to go to business school and she chose to make it her no-buying year (which she discusses in a TEDxHECParis talk). Her experiences caused her to rethink consumption — on a personal and a societal level — and become aware of the invasive, ongoing pressures to acquire new stuff.

“The app I use to measure my performance when I go jogging is trying to tell me when it’s time for me to throw away the sneakers I’m wearing and buy a new pair,” says González Schuett, who is currently based in London. “The pillow I sleep on I recently found out has an expiration date.” She adds, “We collectively need to pause for a moment and wonder: Are we losing — or at least outsourcing — our very basic common sense to decide our needs by ourselves when it comes to consumption?”

It’s not realistic or feasible for most people to swear off shopping as she once did, and González Schuett gets that. She says, “It is possible for us to rethink our day-to-day behavior towards consumption, exercise the ability to appreciate things again, and eliminate that link between easy access and taking things for granted.”

She urges people to engage in what she calls a “scary yet extremely insightful exercise”: “getting over the want and becoming honest about the need.” In other words, she invites us to take an honest look at the things we want and we need and question whether we actually do.

There are many good reasons to regain control of your consumption. González Schuett suggests, “Maybe it’s for the environment, for the sustainability of future generations, for your personal finances, or for the sake of your peace of mind.”

To help you take back control, González Schuett shares these tips:

Let yourself run out of something before you re-buy or re-order. “Spend some time without it; in other words, try to miss it,” says González Schuett. “Because there’s so much to be learned from missing things. Plus, you’ll exponentially increase your short-term happiness once you get it again.”

Keep an item in your online shopping cart for a few days — or weeks — before buying it. You’ll reduce your chance of regretting an impulsive purchase when you find something better later, or realize you don’t actually need it at all.

Instead of immediately replacing something that’s broken, try fixing it first. It’s not always cheaper to buy something new, and you can support a local business or repair cafe by visiting them. You can also teach yourself some new skills. In her no-buying year, González Schuett learned to sew on replacement buttons, and she even watched a YouTube video to figure out how to repair her washing machine.

When you do buy, consider second-hand. By purchasing something that’s pre-owned, you’ll keep from adding to the sum total of things in circulation — since the thing you’ll buy is already out in the world — and you’ll also save money. When it comes to furniture, she points out that for people who live in cities, “we’re all moving around so frequently that second-hand items are more often than not hardly ever been used.”

Choose quality over quantity, especially when it comes to fashion. Try to pick things that are made to last, and when you are done, consider selling, donating or swapping them, instead of throwing them away.

Share what you have, and find others who will. Rather than buying a tool or gadget for a one-off project, “knock on your neighbor’s door when you need a screwdriver,” recommends González Schuett. And while you’re there, let them know what you have to lend, whether it’s a bike pump, snow blower or sewing machine. These relationships can benefit both of you. She says, “What a burden for both of you to each own both things and how enriching to go back to knowing your neighbors.”

Shift your mindset about stuff. As González Schuett puts it, “Consider yourself a custodian of things, rather than an owner.” When you think about it, you’ll realize that there are ways to enjoy things without owing them — take the library, for example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGQg_nVPEq8#action=share

She adds, “Ultimately, we know it isn’t the junk in our drawers that is going to make us happy but having the resources, the space and the time to dedicate to the things that truly matter.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGQg_nVPEq8#action=share

Keys to Thriving Financially as a Single Mom

Emmy Johnson, the author shares what it takes to achieve wealth and thrive.

There are three critical components to thriving financially as a single mom, all of which you can control:

1. Use the time + money + energy equation to create abundance in every part of your life.

2. Create a lifestyle that you can afford now (not when you were married, or where you hope to be in a few years. Now.), including a savings plan for emergencies and retirement.

3. Focus on earning.

This is a recipe for wealth that affects all areas of life, and nearly every decision you will make. All three elements — earning, budget, and resources spent — are all intimately intertwined. To understand how, let’s look at the last one.

Focus on earning

When you’re going through a life change, whether divorce, death of a loved one, new baby, job change, relocation, in the likely event that money, time and/or human resources are reduced, the natural impulse is to tighten up and hunker down. Frugality is a wonderful, powerful thing—one I urge you to cultivate and maintain throughout your life, even when you have money coming out your ears. Frugality has nothing to do with how much you earn or spend, and everything to do about being conscientious about your resources—money and otherwise—and managing them with a sense of gratitude and abundance to make your life and the world around you better.

Frugality, however, can be a slippery slope to a scarcity mentality. Scarcity mentality is the belief that all your resources—money, jobs, love—are limited and must be hoarded. Here’s a classic example: Your husband announces he’s having an affair, and leaves within a week. He earns more than half the household income, all of which he takes with him when he moves out of the house he shared with you and your two kids, and into the apartment of his mistress. You, understandably, panic. Your bills are beyond what you can afford on your own. The payment on your house is huge. Your name is on the mortgage, which puts your credit at risk.

You quickly go through the monthly expenses and start slashing like mad. That is exactly what you should do! Gym membership that you never use, canceled! Tell the kids that this time you will indeed enforce the household rule that the thermostat will not go above 66 degrees in the winter, commit to doing your own nails and cancel the Christmas trip to the Bahamas.

Is this you?

I’m loving this story, and it is exactly what you should be doing (though, 68 degrees maybe?).

However, let’s look at the math. Aside from the vacation, those cut-backs add up to a couple hundred dollars per month. That is not going to make a significant difference in your ability to afford what was a two-income household, much less afford a large mortgage that was financed with two salaries.

A common mistake is when people panic—and moms are especially prone to this—they focus on how much they can save each month. Savings and frugal living are passions of mine, and comes with all kids of residual benefits aside from immediate cost savings. In fact, I argue you should NOT clip coupons. Clipping coupons requires hours per month with very little return on investment of that time. Instead, the absolute best, proven way to get ahead financially in the short- and long-term, build wealth, take control of your time, and have the freedom to create a life for yourself and your kids is to focus on earning.

Let’s say that in addition to slashing the fat from your budget, renegotiate your phone plan and commit to a few Crockpot dinners in lieu of take-out each month, that newly single mom also commits to a plan to earn more money. The residual benefits are astronomic.

In the example above, if the mom after receiving the “Peace Out” bomb from her kids’ dad, committed her lunch hour and Saturday afternoons to freshening up her resume, working her network like crazy, applying for new positions and / or strategizing with her boss about her career goals. Within a few months it is very reasonable she could increase her income by five-figures—income very much needed immediately, and have residual financial and professional benefits for the rest of her life. Plus, by focusing not on the Sunday Clipper, but on big goals and investing in her own worth, she actually gains very real control over a chaotic situation.

Many women find that single motherhood is a fantastic motivator for driving them to risk going for their professional goals—and earning a lot of money along the way. Christina Brown, 28, launched LoveBrownSugar.com, a lifestyle blog for women of color, as a hobby project while she earned about $50,000 per year working in public relations in New York City. When she became pregnant, and a single mom, Christina jumped fulltime into her entrepreneurial endeavor. “I had to kick it into high gear when found out I was having a baby, and was a big motivator to earn to take care of her.” Motherhood drove Christina to increase her blog’s adverting rates, double down on strategy, and button up her processes. Within three years, LoveBrownSugar.com went from $0 to $100,000 in revenue, while Christina works from home and spends lots of time with her daughter, who often models toddler fashion on her mom’s web sites.

Money, of course, isn’t just about surviving, paying bills, securing a future and enjoying nice things. Building a great career you love, modeling that passion and success for your children, is incredibly satisfying — especially when you accomplish it in the face of what you believed was impossible.

Adapted from THE KICKASS SINGLE MOM by Emma Johnson with the permission of TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House. Copyright © 2017   by Emma Johnson.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/money/emmy-johnson-3-keys-to-thriving-financially-as-a-single-mom#ixzz4wLYFU954

Hard Times... and Prospering By Degrees

Thoughts after participating in the Durban Stake Marrieds fireside Jan 2019 - Sister Bray (Durban Temple Construction Site Missionary)

You are free to choose financial ‘liberty’ or you will suffer ‘captivity.’   

Your finances and resource management are your personal stewardships. Take them seriously.

“You don’t want to live poor and die rich, nor do you want to live rich and retire poor.” T Hollis

Learn from the Spirit.  Learn from others.  Keep learning.  Be patient.  Read.  Listen.  Watch.  Ask. 

You can Buy Now and Cry Later J - L – 
Or you can Cry Now and Buy Later L - J.  

O be wise, what can I say more? Jacob 6:12

Every Price has a Prize, every Prize a Price.  

Every Cost has a Benefit, and every Benefit a Cost.

Learn to pay the Price in a PLAN - think, be disciplined in and for the Financial Prizes you want.

Pray about your finances.

Be grateful for your income.

Learn to be content with what you have at the moment. “… be content with your wages.” Luke 3:14

Paul said “…I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”  Phillipians 4:11

Use a budget – every month – include provision for annual, and inevitable ‘surprise’ expenses.

Save for Christmas and birthdays all year – give gifts you can afford.

Give some gifts that cost no money, or little money – your presence, time, talents, wisdom.

Ask someone who is sensible about money to help you if/when you need help.

Ask other people anyway – they might have ideas you never thought of.  

Listen.  Let the Spirit confirm what 'fits' for you, now - all along the way.

Each person needs money to purchase and account for, and pocket-money they don’t account for.

Each adult an equal amount, each child an amount appropriate to their age. 

Have financial discussions with your spouse and children.  

Require children to 'earn' some of their pocket money - chores, entrepreneurial ventures.  

Notice.  Ask around!

Let the holy Spirit guide...

Pay your tithing.  Malachi 3:10  (Every month, or week, if you are paid weekly.)  

Pay off all your debts as soon as you possibly can.  (Find out how.)  

Get debt counselling if necessary.

“No debt” – ever again – for food, commuting, clothing, garden and household furniture and goods.

Save 10% of your income for your old age/retirement – ideally from the day you earn your first Rand.

Always review… and legitimately - reduce expenditure, and increase your income, as you are able.

Be patient with your needs, wants, begging, bullying, pleas and demands; and those of others.

Be not swayed by bragging, mocking, shaming, temptation, advertising, or personalities.

Learn how to, and then live well, on an absence of expense.

Do something every day to improve yourself and where you live right now. 

Keep yourself, your space/home, possessions and vehicle orderly, clean, neat, and attractive.

Pray.  Think.  Spend a share of your labour on cleaning, mending, putting in order and beautifying.

Spend no money on 'things' when you do not have money budgeted and saved to spend.

Grow some of your own food.  
Prepare a patch in your yard, or a pot or two on your windowsill. or veranda 
Walk around your neighbourhood.
See how and what grows in your area.
See who grows successfully.
Ask your gardening neighbours who are doing well with their crops.  
Yes, the seeds, and water may cost more than buying... 
Ask for a few seeds.  Most will share three or five or more.
Start small - like with spinach, maybe beans and tomatoes.  
Gardening is therapeutic.  It will help you "be still."  Psalm 46:10 
"You are nearer God's heart in a garden than any place else on earth." - Dorothy Frances Gurney
He will comfort you, talk to you, and teach you as you work in your garden.
Teach your children how to work with the soil. 
If you ever have to live on what you can cultivate yourself, you will know how to.

Ask yourself "How did they do it  20/50/100 years ago?"
Is it wise to do as they did, for now?

Learn, read, find out the truths about finance – “prospering by degrees” has principles and laws.

Find and consult regularly with several virtual and people financial mentors. 

(Join the library.  Research on the internet.)

Read the Liahona/Ensign, New Era and Friend magazines - on line.  Frequently there are useful ideas.

Research in Gospel Library for articles, talks, devotionals on debt and financial management.

Govern your wants – until you have “sufficient for your needs, and thereafter - enough to share.”

Work towards this prosperity formula (It might prove to be useful) -

Learn to live on 60% of your income:

10% tithing

10% old-age/retirement saving

10% legitimate family and/or charity sharing (beware of enabling others to be dependent/reckless)

10% short term saving before purchasing specific large budget items

Learn to say “We will when we can afford it.  We can’t afford this now.  We will save for it.”

Learn to say “No.” to yourself and others.  “I would if I could… I am not able to.”

Never shop when you are hungry or tired.  

Shop consciously, with a rational and realistic list.

If you are compulsive or addicted to shopping/spending, get help.  

Live within your means.

Pay ‘cash’ for more and more (if you use cards or accounts, pay them off, in full, every month.)

Cut up your cards, close your accounts - if you can’t pay them off, in full, every month, without fail.

Get good "marks" in your work or studies so you qualify for training, scholarships or bursaries.   

Apply for learnerships and PEF. (Perpetual Education Fund)

Only owe money for affordable education, affordable housing, and affordable transport.

Move closer to work, or work closer to home whenever possible.
Remember - each move you make costs money.  Consider the costs ... now, and over time.

Holiday from home.  Take day trips you can afford.  Borrow or rent a movie.  Play games together.

Walk around the block, in a park or at the beach.  
Have an ice cream cone rather than a meal out.
If you can't afford an ice-cream cone, don't suggest it.  

(More can come later as you can afford more – paid with interest you earn on your investments.)

Many things don’t cost money or cost little money – learn to notice them and enjoy them. 

If you don’t have money, don’t spend money.  

Take a packed lunch.  

Eat more economical meals – at home.

Consider wise second hand purchases – buy more used ‘things’ – car, furniture, clothes, household goods.

Don’t compare yourself to others – you have no idea what’s behind their outward appearance.

Focus on learning how, and making your money work for you.

“Eat out” less.  “Go out” less.  “Take away/Entertain in/picnic” more often than “sit down/go out.”

Resist sales.  If you don’t need it (for now), it is not a bargain.

Build up your food, clothing, fuel and other “storage” gradually – build up to one year’s supply.

Save one month’s income, then save another, until you have about eight months’ emergency saving.

If you have two incomes, work towards living on one.  Save as much of the other income as possible.

Check – a second full-time income may not be worth the expense, time and talent lost in the home.

Consider the cost of travel, child-care, housekeeper, gardening, clothes, wear and tear, fast-foods, appeals, temptation, time.

Perhaps part time or self-employment will yield better time at home and net disposable income.

Save money in separate accounts in the name of each person/partner.

(If you are married Ante Nuptial Contract and one leaves//dies, the other has money to use while arrangements are made.)

Learn to do more home-making and comfortable-living things yourself – be more self-reliant.

This is also an opportunity to learn and teach children valuable life-lessons.

Saved money by ‘doing it yourself’ is money that does not have to be taxed, and can be saved.

Save coins and notes.  “A penny saved is a penny earned.”  Bank them.

Ask your wise friends, family and associates for the best places to save your money.

Joseph’s dream – the time of ‘plenty’ is the time to save/store for the inevitable times of ‘scarcity.’

 “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.” Romans 13:1

“Pay the debt thou hast contracted… release thyself from bondage.”  D&C 19:35

“…the borrower is servant to the lender.” Proverbs 22:7

“Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” Malachi 3:10
“Prove all things, hold fast to that which is good.” 1 Thessalonians 5:1

 “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” Joshua 1:9

“Take heed unto yourselves, lest ye forget the covenant of the LORD your God, which he made with you, and make you a graven image, or the likeness of any thing, which the LORD thy God hath forbidden thee.” Deuteronomy 4:23

“Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.” Joshua 24:14

“…if ye are prepared ye shall not fear.” D&C 38:30

Listen to the still small voice, let the Holy Spirit guide you, learn to say “Thy will, not mine, be done.”

Laws are irrevocably decreed in heaven upon which all blessings are predicated.  D&C 130:10

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without.” Pioneer maxim quoted by Boyd K Packer“

“It is a rule .. . in all the world that interest is to be paid on borrowed money. … 
Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; 
it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation; it never visits nor travels . . . 
it has no love, no sympathy; it is as hard and soulless as a granite cliff. 
Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; 
you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; 
it yields neither to entreaties, demands nor orders; 
and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you.”  
― J. Reuben Clark Jr. General Conference 1938

 “Those who understand interest earn it, those who don’t, pay it.” Albert Einstein

“We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.”

“You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you.” 

“Winning at money is 80 percent behavior and 20 percent head knowledge.

  What to do isn’t the problem; doing it is.  

  Most of us know what to do, but we just don’t do it.

  If I can control the guy in the mirror, I can be skinny and rich.”  - Dave Ramsey

"Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen [pounds] nineteen [shillings] and six [pence], result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds nought [shillings] and six [pence], result misery." Charles Dickens – author of “David Copperfield”

Dickens's vivid description could easily be applied to the dangers of payday loans today.

“This pleasant grandfather, …was a horny-skinned, two-legged, money-getting species of spider who spun webs to catch unwary flies… until they were entrapped. The name of this old pagan's god was Compound Interest."  Charles Dickens, author of “Bleak House” (Make Compound Interest work FOR you!)

Most great fortunes are built slowly. They are based on the principle of compound interest, what Albert Einstein called, "The greatest power in the universe." - Brian Tracy

 “My father’s father died when he was 11 and his mother when he was 17.  He was able to inherit an old valve radio from his parents.  I inherited R3000 from my mother when she died (I was in my forties) and R300,000 from my father when he died (I was in my fifties.)  Our children will inherit a lot more from us when we die (We are in our seventies.)”  - Victoria Payne

You can ‘eat’ your money, ‘live’ in it, ‘drive’ in it, ‘wear’ it, ‘travel’ it, 'squander' it, ‘share’ it.  

Few can do all of these.

“Correlate, Reduce, Simplify.”  

“Reduce, Re-use, Recycle, Refuse.”
Compost your compostable kitchen waste.

There are useful books and on-line resources to learn sound money principles, debt and saving.

Ask wise ones around you for names of books and sites they recommend. Most are glad to share.

God bless you as you “increase in wisdom and stature, in favour with God and man.” Luke 2:52

God bless you as you resist being “lifted up in pride… and (wearing) costly apparel.”  4 Nephi 1:24,25

God bless you to “Awake… put on thy strength…” Isaiah 52:1

God bless you as you “prosper by degrees.” Mosiah 21:16

“But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God.

And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them;

and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry,

and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.” Jacob 2:18,19

Get Your Finances Back on Track

  By Michelle Singletary

 Financial columnist Michelle Singletary maps out a financial rescue plan for Make Me a Ten! makeover candidate, Tisa McGhee, a single mother of two who has lost her job and watched her debts pile up. Here's what you can do if you're in a similar position.

In the Short Term

1. Stick to a budget. I started by giving Tisa a blank financial worksheet to fill out. By looking at the full financial picture, I saw some expenses she could cut. First, she's paying $220 a month for cell phones for herself and her daughters. She should stick with the cheapest plan—no downloading ring tones, surfing the Internet, or texting for the girls. Second, she has to cut back on restaurant meals, one of the most common ways people waste money. Third, she needs to spend less on transportation. Ideally, 6 to 15 percent of your net income should go to transportation costs (including your car payment, gas, and insurance); Tisa is spending more than 18 percent. I also advised her to make a list of top priorities and, every time she's tempted to buy something, pull out that list and look at it.

2. Stay on top of the mortgage. Part of Tisa's trouble is her adjustable-rate mortgage. When housing prices were rising, a homeowner could refinance when interest rates went up. But once home prices began to fall, that was no longer an option for many borrowers. While Tisa's interest rate was rising, the value of her home was dropping—from $302,000 to about $230,000 by last November, according to an estimate by Zillow.com. Thanks to her emergency fund, she was able to keep up with the higher mortgage payments until August 2008. But then she stopped paying, and the lender began foreclosure proceedings. She eventually sought help through the Obama administration's Making Home Affordable program (MakingHomeAffordable.gov), which allows strapped borrowers to refinance or modify their mortgages. Tisa's lender offered to lower her monthly payment from $3,180 to $1,747; she began making the new payments last July but stopped because her lender never sent her the proper paperwork. I suggested Tisa turn to NeighborWorks America (NW.org), a nonprofit that helps consumers avoid foreclosure, and the agency intervened. If you are having trouble paying your mortgage, you can also contact a free counselor approved by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (find one through HopeNow.com).

3. Stop making extra debt payments (for while she is unemployed…) Tisa has been trying to dig herself out of debt by paying more than the minimum on her credit cards. Normally that would be smart. But because she is unemployed, I advised her to preserve as much cash as possible, making basic expenses—food, housing, utilities, and transportation—her highest priority.

4. Get financial counseling. Tisa needs to work one-on-one with a credit counselor. Counselors with the National Foundation for Credit Counseling can provide free or lowcost debt help. To find a counselor, go to DebtAdvice.org. Look for accredited counselors who have independent certification and training in budgeting, consumer credit, and debt management.

In the Long Term

1. Stop using shopping as therapy. Emotional spending causes a lot of people to end up in serious debt. Seventy-nine percent of women go on spending sprees to cheer themselves up, according to a 2009 study released by the University of Hertfordshire, in England. Forty percent of the women surveyed named "depression" as a reason to go shopping.

2. Save to buy a used car. Tisa, who has spent almost $30,000 over the past six years on two leased cars, needs to eke out some money to pay cash for a used car when her current lease is up. Yes, you can lease a car for less each month than it would cost you to buy the same vehicle, but at the end of that lease, you have no car. In the long term, buying a car and keeping it for years saves more money.

3. Aggressively pay down debt. After Tisa starts working full-time again, she needs to follow what I call the Debt Dash Plan: List your debts, starting with the smallest. Take all the extra money you can find in your budget and apply it to that debt, and make only the minimum payments on your other debts. When you pay off the first debt, move on to the one with the next lowest balance, and so on. This strategy works because people get an emotional boost from eliminating one of their debts quickly, which motivates them to stick to their debt repayment plan.

4. Pay down student loans. Once Tisa is back on her feet financially, she must start paying off her student loans, because the interest is killing her. An income-based repayment plan for her federal loans will cap her monthly payment at an affordable amount based on income and family size. (For information about this plan, go to Ibrinfo.org) Her lender will determine her eligibility and how much she must pay each month. (But, in exchange for lower monthly payments, she may end up paying more interest than under a standard ten-year repayment plan.)

5. Build the consulting business. Tisa has already started her business, Mc3 Consulting Inc., which teaches nonprofits how to improve their services and internal operations. "Mc3 Consulting is the seed I am planting for my girls," she says. "I want them to see their mother be successful and show them that we can turn this situation around. I want them to learn from my mistakes." Tisa has a good business plan and great contacts, but until she has enough contracts to cover all her expenses and debt, she needs to pursue and stay in a full-time job. She should continue to seek advice, especially to steer clear of tax problems. One place to start is score (Score.org), a nonprofit association of working and retired executives and business owners who donate their time to advising entrepreneurs. Tisa has been financially solid before, and she can do it again. She needs to set a budget, get rid of her debts, and keep spending in check. Recognizing her issues is a big part of the battle. "A combination of factors led me to where I am today," she said, "but I can't regret those things. They're helping me become the woman I hope to be someday."

Michelle Singletary is the author of The Power to Prosper: 21 Days to Financial Freedom. For more information visit MichelleSingletary.com

Borrower... Lender...

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry..."
Polonius in "Hamlet" by Shakespeare

Make Money

"If you want to make money, know your job and do it well."
Mrs AME Logan

Spending Money

"You spend money on what you can afford - it's Math, not Magic."
Dr Phil

A Prudent Lifestyle

"A prudent lifestyle will bring us happiness.
Selfishness suffocates spiritual sensitivity."
Said by... I don't recall.

Live Joyfully

"Live Joyfully within your means."
Robert D Hales

About Spending Money:

"The choice is (this thing I want to spend my money on now...) or my long-time wealth."
Author unrecorded

Too Grand a Wedding

About spending too much on an elaborate wedding:

"You are crippling yourself to live your dream.
Don't do it!
Face this reality. Embrace this reality."

- Dr Phil

Be Honest

Admit when you need help. Contact your lenders.
Don't borrow from your retirement.
Sell, sell, sell whatever you can.
Live smaller to be financially secure.
Open all your mail.
Learn to tell yourself "No."
You can't buy your way to success.
Start sacrificing for the people you love.
Have a weekly "money discussion night" as well as a weekly "date night."